Counselling/Psychotherapy, Redruth, Cornwall

Counselling

Psychotherapy / Counselling, Redruth, Cornwall
Holistic Counselling and Psychotherapy, an all important tool for helping with anything! There is always a solution, a way to overcome our issues. What happens is that sometimes we cannot see how! Lucia can help with Stress - Anxiety - Relationships - Self Confidence - Bereavement - Depression - Bi Polar Syndrome - Life Changes ...

Psychotherapy / Counselling, Redruth, Cornwall

Holistic Counselling and Psychotherapy, an all important tool for helping with anything!

There is always a solution, a way to overcome our issues.

What happens is that sometimes we cannot see how!

Lucia can help with Stress - Anxiety - Relationships - Self Confidence - Bereavement - Depression - Bi Polar Syndrome - Life Changes ...

Ways to Save Your Relationship...Couple / Family Counselling
PERSONAL CASE STUDY They (Phil and Sophia), came for psychotherapy because of the children (two boys 9 and 6 years old). However, we soon realised that the children’s distress and behaviour were due to the parents problems. It is common as in this case; for the childrens behaviour to show when something is not right at home. We started by: A. IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM She wanted to split. “I am tired”, she said, “ I have tried many things and it seems like it's not worth doing it anymore”. He didn’t want to split and thought “ she is making such a fuss about our relationship” “He doesn’t listen and he doesn’t talk” “She is very cold and it seems that everything I say or do is wrong" “We are always busy working or with the kids and of course there is no time for us”. We then discovered that the main problem was COMMUNICATION. Sometimes they used the wrong ways to communicate(not showing love or care for each other). Communication is related with emotions, childhood experiences and ideas about each other and life together. So we started the couple psychotherapy. B. IDENTIFYING IDEAS ABOUT EACH OTHER The first exercise we did was Johari window (which is a model for illustrating and improving self-awareness, and mutual understanding between individuals and groups). For more information go to Johari window on the internet. This exercise showed things like: - Not much time to share and do things together. This was because they were too busy; but also it was better to be busy than face the situation. If there was a quiet time they had to talk - Coldness in the relationship - Sophia didn’t know that Phil admired her - Phil didn’t know that Sophia found him attractive and interesting - The situation between them was negatively affecting the children C. HOW DO WE COMMUNICATE? Using Transactional Analysis, (a model for understanding human personality, relationships and communication; for more information on this check Eric Berne - the Ego State Model), we could understand the way they were communicating with each other. - Sophia usually spoke to Phil from her “parent ego-state” or else adapted child ego-state. - As Phil didn’t like that he did the same and then the confrontation begun - Sophia assumed many times that Phil knew what she wanted. As it wasn’t like that, she got upset. - When Phil wanted something he asked for it in a bossy tone of voice We identified the feelings, thoughts and ideas surrounding the ways of communication between them. D. WHERE DO OUR FEARS AND PATTERNS COME FROM? Another instrument that we used was the “family tree”, a very important tool from the Systemic Therapy, which helped them to understand some of the reasons why they were like they were and where it came from. (It is important to clarify that family tree in this case doesn’t refer to the genealogical family history, but the dynamic of the family regarding relationships between the members). What we found was interesting because both of them were copying behaviours, and ways to relate with the partner from their respective parents. After we explored all of this, we were able to move on and began to make little changes in their relationship, which came from individual changes: They were more aware about the tone of voice, words and body language when they spoke to each other. Phil became less bossy Sophia became more relaxed Phil was less afraid of showing his love to Sophia. They became more aware of each others needs. They felt more comfortable with each other. They were more open to talk without arguing Of course it took time and some things didn’t change. Phil’s personality was strong but he managed it better and Sophia understood more where it came from. Sophia was still insecure sometimes when she had to make decisions; but she tried more even when she made mistakes. The children’s behaviour improved but Phil needed more time with the older one and even though he knew that it wasn't easy for him to go “down” to his son’s level he avoided it if he could. We also worked on how they were projecting themselves into society so that they weren’t too close to others. Finally we had sessions for relaxation, massage, breathing and concentration exercises etc... As you can see Psychotherapy used an holistic approach: physical, emotional, intellectual and social dimensions were addressed, which is what I offer as a Psychotherapist.

Ways to Save Your Relationship...Couple / Family Counselling

PERSONAL CASE STUDY

They (Phil and Sophia), came for psychotherapy because of the children (two boys 9 and 6 years old). However, we soon realised that the children’s distress and behaviour were due to the parents problems. It is common as in this case; for the childrens behaviour to show when something is not right at home.

We started by:

A. IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM

She wanted to split. “I am tired”, she said, “ I have tried many things and it seems like it's not worth doing it anymore”.

He didn’t want to split and thought “ she is making such a fuss about our relationship”

“He doesn’t listen and he doesn’t talk”

“She is very cold and it seems that everything I say or do is wrong"

“We are always busy working or with the kids and of course there is no time for us”.

We then discovered that the main problem was COMMUNICATION. Sometimes they used the wrong ways to communicate(not showing love or care for each other).

Communication is related with emotions, childhood experiences and ideas about each other and life together. So we started the couple psychotherapy.

B. IDENTIFYING IDEAS ABOUT EACH OTHER

The first exercise we did was Johari window (which is a model for illustrating and improving self-awareness, and mutual understanding between individuals and groups). For more information go to Johari window on the internet. This exercise showed things like:

- Not much time to share and do things together. This was because they were too busy; but also it was better to be busy than face the situation. If there was a quiet time they had to talk

- Coldness in the relationship

- Sophia didn’t know that Phil admired her

- Phil didn’t know that Sophia found him attractive and interesting

- The situation between them was negatively affecting the children

C. HOW DO WE COMMUNICATE?

Using Transactional Analysis, (a model for understanding human personality, relationships and communication; for more information on this check Eric Berne - the Ego State Model), we could understand the way they were communicating with each other.

- Sophia usually spoke to Phil from her “parent ego-state” or else adapted child ego-state.

- As Phil didn’t like that he did the same and then the confrontation begun

- Sophia assumed many times that Phil knew what she wanted. As it wasn’t like that, she got upset.

- When Phil wanted something he asked for it in a bossy tone of voice

We identified the feelings, thoughts and ideas surrounding the ways of communication between them.

D. WHERE DO OUR FEARS AND PATTERNS COME FROM?

Another instrument that we used was the “family tree”, a very important tool from the Systemic Therapy, which helped them to understand some of the reasons why they were like they were and where it came from.

(It is important to clarify that family tree in this case doesn’t refer to the genealogical family history, but the dynamic of the family regarding relationships between the members).

What we found was interesting because both of them were copying behaviours, and ways to relate with the partner from their respective parents.

After we explored all of this, we were able to move on and began to make little changes in their relationship, which came from individual changes:

They were more aware about the tone of voice, words and body language when they spoke to each other.
Phil became less bossy
Sophia became more relaxed
Phil was less afraid of showing his love to Sophia.
They became more aware of each others needs.
They felt more comfortable with each other.
They were more open to talk without arguing

Of course it took time and some things didn’t change. Phil’s personality was strong but he managed it better and Sophia understood more where it came from.

Sophia was still insecure sometimes when she had to make decisions; but she tried more even when she made mistakes.

The children’s behaviour improved but Phil needed more time with the older one and even though he knew that it wasn't easy for him to go “down” to his son’s level he avoided it if he could.

We also worked on how they were projecting themselves into society so that they weren’t too close to others.

Finally we had sessions for relaxation, massage, breathing and concentration exercises etc...

As you can see Psychotherapy used an holistic approach: physical, emotional, intellectual and social dimensions were addressed, which is what I offer as a Psychotherapist.

Lucia Johns: Psychologist / Counsellor
Psychologist and psychotherapist with eighteen years experience. I offer a holistic approach based in the systemic theory as well as Transactional Analysis, which means that I take into account peoples thoughts, emotions, behaviour, physical body (breathing, diet and massage), relationships and beliefs. I help individuals, couples, children, families and groups. I have done one year of the diploma in counselling (TA Core Approach) which I will finish when my baby is a little bit older. For Further Information, Appointments or Advice Please Phone: 01209 - 315500

Lucia Johns: Psychologist / Counsellor

Lucia Johns counsellor,psychotherapist, natural therapy centre, redruth, cornwall

Psychologist and psychotherapist with eighteen years experience. I offer a holistic approach based in the systemic theory as well as Transactional Analysis, which means that I take into account peoples thoughts, emotions, behaviour, physical body (breathing, diet and massage), relationships and beliefs.

I help individuals, couples, children, families and groups.

I have done one year of the diploma in counselling (TA Core Approach) which I will finish when my baby is a little bit older.

For Further Information, Appointments or Advice Please Phone: 01209 - 315500